Best Crisps Of All Time - Top Five Crisps

It’s been on my mind for a while. When I’m gazing off into the middle distance or turning a record over, I think it. Today, when I had a day off work, I ate bad food and it was with me. In between dipping pieces of bread in a large pot of hummus and eating jalapenos and cheese, I connected with a familiar feeling of self-loathing, food-based self-loathing, opaque like a fingerprint of grease on a piece of paper or a page of a book. Its all about crisps. I love crisps. I choose them over anything else. I know they are bad for you but still I think of them often; old and new, exotic flavours and classic flavours. Here are the top five as chosen by me, an expert; a sallow-skinned, greasy-mitted, self-diagnosed crisp connoisseur. Please disagree. Comment with your own lists. Send me your best crisps. I’ll have them.

Number One

Brannigans – Roast Beef and Mustard Flavour Thick Cut Potato Crisps

Boom! Best crisps ever. Nothing else has a bite that compares.

Number Two

Red Rock Deli – Sweet Chilli and Sour Cream

Best thing to come out of Australia ever. Sorry Kylie, sorry Nick Cave, sorry Neighbours. Strewth, these are delicious potato chips.

Number Three

Kettle Chips – Sea Salt with Crushed Black Peppercorns

Number Four

Hula Hoops XL – Beef and Mustard

Number Five

Walker’s Sensations – Thai Sweet Chilli

And those crisps that just missed out, and the reason why…

Space Raiders Pickled Onion Flavour Corn & Wheat Snacks

A victim of inflation and the disaster of late-stage capitalism, these are now an incredible 40 pence. Don’t taste nearly as good as when I could buy them with the coppers in my back pocket. Also, a corn snack, not an official potato crisp.

Smiths Scampi Fries

Delicious but wrong. Make your fingers smell like regret.

McCoys – Salt and Vinegar

Classic in every sense but not quite special enough.

Pringles – Salt and Vinegar / Sour Creme and Chives

MSG makes you feel sick. You want to eat them, you eat them, you feel sick.

Walker’s Salt and Shake

Novelty. Pure, simple novelty. Simpler times.

Enjoyed this? Read my restaurant-style review of a fry-up cooked while hungover.

Best Crisps Ever – Top 5