It’s been on my mind for a while. When I’m gazing off into the middle distance or turning a record over, I think it. Today, when I had a day off work, I ate bad food and it was with me. In between dipping pieces of bread in a large pot of hummus and eating jalapenos and cheese, I connected with a familiar feeling of self-loathing, food-based self-loathing, opaque like a fingerprint of grease on a piece of paper or a page of a book. Its all about crisps. I love crisps. I choose them over anything else. I know they are bad for you but still I think of them often; old and new, exotic flavours and classic flavours. Here are the top five as chosen by me, an expert; a sallow-skinned, greasy-mitted, self-diagnosed crisp connoisseur. Please disagree. Comment with your own lists. Send me your best crisps. I’ll have them.
Brannigans – Roast Beef and Mustard Flavour Thick Cut Potato Crisps
Boom! Best crisps ever. Nothing else has a bite that compares.
Red Rock Deli – Sweet Chilli and Sour Cream
Kettle Chips – Sea Salt with Crushed Black Peppercorns
Hula Hoops XL – Beef and Mustard
Walker’s Sensations – Thai Sweet Chilli
And those crisps that just missed out, and the reason why…
Space Raiders Pickled Onion Flavour Corn & Wheat Snacks
A victim of the credit crunch, now an incredible 15 pence. Don’t taste as good as when I could buy them with the coppers in my back pocket. Also a corn snack, not an official potato crisp.
Smiths Scampi Fries
Delicious but wrong. Make your fingers smell like you would not believe.
McCoys – Salt and Vinegar
Classic in every sense but not quite special enough.
Pringles – Salt and Vinegar / Sour Creme and Chives
MSG makes you feel sick. You want to eat them, you eat them, you feel sick.
Walker’s Salt and Shake
Novelty. Pure, simple novelty.